[Lord Stiffupperlip]

Shiver me timbers, shipmates!
The Mariners sailed into town today with all guns blazing.
Despite lots'o huffin & puffin by the crew, our ship was becalmed in the doldrums and making little progress in the Meditteranean sunshine.
Then disaster struck, we was holed below the waterline & sinking fast.
There was mutinous murmurs coming from below decks that some of the crew should be walking the plank.
Then, blow me down, our lads pulled together & managed to score a direct hit amidships.
By the end of the battle they was a reeling as our grapeshot peppered their decks.
Midshipman McCarten & Clark showed conspicuous gallantry, leading the attack fearlessly time & again.
Twas no victory, but them scurvy dogs will be glad to scuttle back to port intact.
Splice the mainbrace me hearties, our lads have hearts of oak.