[Div3North]

Newport County

V

Accrington Stanley

2017/18 Prediction League; Game 36 v Newport (away)

I would like you all to raise your glasses, please, and to say a huge “thank you” to Morecambe for stuffing the Wycombe PocketPickers 4-2 away on Saturday (mmwwwaaahahahaha), to Coventry for stuffing Wycombe 1-0 away on Tuesday (ditto), and to Cheltenham for taking a point off Luton, causing Luton to drop two points (and being better than lucky to get anything, especially since it was the 90-somethingth minute when they got their equaliser) …………….. and may I couple that toast with another; raise your glasses also, please, to The Three Blind Mice and Their Mate – Messrs Lewis (Referee), Clayton and Smith (Asst Referees) and Cunliffe (Fourth Official) – who missed the most blatant shove in the back by Kayden on Saturday against Cambridge that I’ve seen for YEARS, allowing his goal to stand and us to get three points ………….. Last one like that that I remember was Bolton’s left back (late 50s, this would be) who put the Man City right winger over the wall around the pitch and into the terraces head first …………….. Happy Days!

Result of all that, of course, is that we’re now 3 points clear of You Fat Bastard and his friends with a game in hand over them ……………. We’re the form team (is it 9 wins and a draw in 11, do I remember?) with 13 points from 15; Luton have 8 from a possible 15, Wycombe, Notts County and Exeter have seven each, Swindon 6 and Coventry 4; Managerless Mansfield (he’ll be having his lunch in Kent as we speak, will that Nice Mr Evans) have 10/15, and so do 10th-placed Carlisle and Cambridge in 14th; Crawley have 9/15. Standing in the corner with their hands on their heads are Grimsby (1 point from a possible 15), Newport (2 points – LLLDD), and Portly and the TwistySpires with 3 each ………….. Barnet have taken 7 points and are on 29 (Chesterfield are on 30); Crewe, Vegan Greenpeace and Grimsby are on 36, and Morecambe and PortlyVale are on 35 (and I imagine they’re all sweating right now) ………….. And why would you leave high-flying Mansfield for low-grovelling Gillingham anyway? Money? Or is that just cynical………?

Little action in the Transfer Market ………….. they ProperSigned Swansea’s Welsh MF Josh Sheehan, and ProperLetGo CF Aaron Williams, forward Sean Rigg and defender Jazzi Barnum-Bobb (probably my favouritely-named player, who’d been on loan at Torquay), all of whom are now playing – but not often - for Free Agent FC; and in the LoanMarket they brought in Wolves’ striker Aaron Collins, Swansea FB Tyler Reid, and Cambridge MF Emmanuel Osadebe and sent out MF Evan Press (no, not a publishing firm) to Undy (not to be confused with Undies, which are entirely different), Tom Savigar to Port Talbot (isn’t it), and Lamar Reynolds – who was eliminated from Dancing on Ice a week or so back, I think – to Leyton Orient …. LO are currently 16th in the Bananarama with 42 points from 34; Hartlepool are 19th with 37 points (3 above the Greasy Pole places); Macclesfield are top, 5 points clear of Sutton Utd, and AFC Fylde are 7th and in the playoff places along with Tranmere, Aldershot and Wrexham

After 8 points from their first 4 games Newport were 2nd; after game 28, the third win on the bounce (including Exeter and Crawley) they were fifth; currently they’re 13th, above Cambridge on GD (-2 plays -10), both on 48 points …………… they’ve drawn three (Morecambe, PV and Notts Co) and lost three (Lincoln 3-1, Colchester 2-0 and Mansfield 5-0 – all away) of their last six games, scoring only twice in those six games, and not at all in any of their last four ……… They’re out of all the Cups (5-1 at Leeds in the EFL Cup after a 2-0 over Southend – mind you, everyone’s out of the EFL Cup after last Sunday, thinking about it; three defeats in the group stage of the EFLTroffy, and 2-0 to Spurs after a half-Desmond in Round 4 of the FA Cup, having taken out Walsall, Cambridge and Leeds at home in Rounds 1 to 3) ………. Home form is patchy – W6 D7 L2 GF20 GA13; away it’s W6 D5 L8 GF21 GA30 (they’ve had some home games postponed, I’d think, which is a complete SOMERSET!) ……….. overall, P34 W12 D12 L10 GF41 GA43 … add in the Cup games and its P44 GF53 GA59 ……………. Leading scorers are on-loan striker Shawn McCoulsky (from Bristol Citties) with 11, Podge with 9, Frank Nouble with 8, and Joss “Bite Me” Labadie with 6 …………….. McCoulsky had a loan spell at Weston-super-Mare-in-the-Marsh in 2016, so Revived Red should be able to give us the lowdown (or the highup) on him …………….

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 3.00pm on Saturday 3rd March (soon be Christmas) …………… things are going very nicely at the moment, but let’s not get Cocky, shall we? You all know what Cocky gets you. N’est-ce pas? Last season they beat us 3-1 at our place (goal by Janoi) and 1-0 at theirs; this season they were beating us until the 88th minute at Fortress Wham, when Mallik Wilks – still at Grimsby as far as I know – snook a draw and a point ………..so really we’re due a win? Yes lads? Thank you!

Good luck to everyone! ………….. Keep the Faith! ……….. And thanks for playing!