[Div3North]

Accrington Stanley

v

Flakefleet Wood Town

2020/21 Prediction League; Game 7 v The Fishermen of England (home)

Well, that were an interesting day ........... We’re now 9th, on 1.5 points per game, down from 1.8; we’re one of six sides yet to draw, we’re the highest placed team – the only one in the top half of the table - with a negative GD (-2), and we’ve got the joint-5th worst goals conceded total in our League ........... form side is the Posh, with wins in their last three; numpties of the week are the Cobblers, who won their opener and have lost all four since ............. and Morecambe’s reign at the top of Ligue Duxks lasted seven days, following which a 4-0 loss at CreeepyCrawley plummeted them down to sixth – won 4, lost 2, but the two defeats were by Crawley 4-0 and Cambridge 5-0, giving them a GD of -5, having shipped 13 in 6 (and like us they’re the highest placed side in their League with a minus GD)........ and Cambridge won 5-0 away for the second time in three road trips (at Scunnie) having only managed that once since they came back up from the Bananarama in 2014....... elsewhere, in le Championnat the LambChops ended BristolCitties’ 100% start to the season, courtesy of a penalty in the 102nd minute, and Reading’s 100% record also went in a goalless Desmond at Middlesbrough; those two and the Cherries are the only unbeaten sides, and Barnsley and the Chairboys have yet to win, but at least the Chairboys eventually scored (Scott Kashket), although Millwall scored one more, so Gareth Longest-Serving still has nul points to his name ............ and Mr Akinfenwa made his Championnat Debut!

Two unbeaten in Liguo Uno – Ipswich and Slumberland – and everyone has a win; Vegan Greenpeace and Walsall are the only not-yet-lost sides in the Zweite Division, and Barrow (who lost at SpaWater United 1-0), Manfield and Southend are all still winless ................ Happy Days!------- Unless you’re a Southend Fan; having spent most of last season bottom of League One (discounting Bolton for these purposes), they’re now bottom of League Two ... where’s Freddie Eastwood when you need him? (or do I mean Freddie Kruger?)

And it seems that my Latin Lesson last week prompted tous le monde et son chien to have a nibble at ‘talking Foreign’ ........... So for those who – come the day when the world wakes up to normal (whatever that looks like then) – decide to fly off to Sunny Spain, I thought I’d teach you a very useful Spanish phrase, that you’d do well to remember ........... “choo-choo” ........... remember that; “choo-choo” ....... I learnt it a few years back, I was in Benidorm, I came out of this Bar about 4.00 in the morning, and I felt someone suddenly push something hard and cold into my back, and this bloke said to me, “If you do not give me your wallet, I will choo-choo”

So this fella’s driving this top-of-the-range Mercedes down this road – he hits this kerb, over the double white lines, hits that kerb, goes over a roundabout, through the red lights, eventually the Police stop him, and this fella gets out of the car and he can’t stand up .......... The copper said, “Have you been drinking, Sir?” and he says, “Yes, Constable”, he says, “as a matter of fact I’ve spent the evening in the Lodge”, and he winked ...... and the Copper says, “No problem, Sir”, and they drive his car home, put it in the garage, take him to the front door, prop him up, put his keys in his top pocket, and the Policeman said, “Be a bit more careful in future, Sir, it might not be us who stop you next time, alright? By the way, which Lodge do you go to?”

And the fella said, “Errrr, Yates’s”

The problem with doing these openers, of course, is that eventually I run out of fresh news, stories, information or topics on a town, or a team, and you can only repeat yourself so many times ........ With Floatwood, I’ve done the Mount, the lighthouses in the middle of the road, Fishermen’s Friends and the convoluted history of Fleetwood’s Footie Team and its many existences ............ Any road oop, if you know the A585 you’ll know “The Copy of the Statue of Eros” up by the Nautical College; well, all may not be what it seems, apparently ..............

The 17-feet high aluminium statue of Eros positioned mid-roundabout is, as you may know, an exact replica of Sir Alfred Gilbert’s original, which stands on the Shaftesbury Memorial in Piccadilly Circus in London; it was one of a limited number of casts taken from Gilbert’s original plasters of his 19th Century work during its restoration in 1987, and initially it graced the Trocadero Building, near the original, but it was bought at auction in 1997 by Doreen Lofthouse (of Lofthouse’s Sweeties), gifted to the town, and subsequently installed on the Broadwater roundabout (see above). That one - the aluminium copy - suffered damage from the sea air and the salty water, and it was removed in 2005, and replaced by a bronze copy a year later ............... but there is a school of thought that says the Statue isn’t of Eros (the Greek God of Love and Sex) at all; it’s actually his brother Anteros ( the God of requited love, literally "love returned", and also “the punisher of those who scorn love and the advances of others”) ........ Any experts on Greek Mythology out there? Antiques Roadshow? Flog it? Anyone?

True or false? Fleetwood was once hit by a Force 12 Gale, with 80mph winds and a tide which – at 32 feet – was 7 feet higher than expected ........ Well, It’s true; in October 1927, it flooded much of the town, stopped all transport, cut off power and communication, and flooded the TB Hospital nearby, drowning three patients asleep on the Ground Floor, and taking another three lives as well .............. Floodwood was completely isolated for most of three days, parts of the town being under 12 feet of water, and aid arrived only after an appeal by the Times (newspaper) from London .............. and not only that – it was flooded again 50 years later, in 1977 ............... so if you’re around in 2027, I’d stay South of Poulton, if I were thee .......... just in case, like ......

This is the Trawlermen’s seventh consecutive season in League One; last season they finished 6th, one of three teams (Oxford and Pompey as well) who got 60 points from 35 games ...... Oxford’s GD was +24.Pompey’s +17 and Fleetwood’s +13 ........... They won 16, drew 12 and lost 7 of their games, scoring 51 and conceding 38, and only Coventry (3) lost fewer matches ..... they met Wycombe in the Play-Off Semis, and from 2-1 up after 6 minutes (“Nay, it’s nobbut five past – there’ll be no score yet ...”) at Highbury (Park Avenue), Wycombe took the away leg 4-1, and then managed a Desmond at home, and they Did It Unto Oxford in the Final, to go up for the first time to the Giddy Heights........... and we all know what happened to Poor Old Wycombe after that ..... six games, one goal, no points ..... it’s a cruel old world ........ In the FA Cup they beat Barnet 2-0 away and Crawley 2-1 away, before Pompey sank their ship with a 2-1 (hereinafter called a “DaveinGermany”) ..........

They shipped out (have you noticed the nautical theme? Nautical College, nautical theme?) twelve – some to oblivion (no, not the Alton Towers one), some to non-league, GK Matt Gilks to the Trotters, striker Conor McAleny to Owdham, winger Ashley Hunter to the SalfordAmmies (for whom Ian Nemesis Henderson missed a penalty and the rebound yesterday, allowing Portly Vale a 1-0 win), Jack Sowerby to the Cobblers, Scott Pengelly, who went to Porton Down Military Research Centre – no, hang on, Portadown – so he did, and various other people you’ve never heard of who went to places you don’t want to visit ........... MF Jamie Cooke to Colne, and MF Anthony Williams to Stalybridge (Celtic), for example ...

Eight signed on, including one J Coleman ...... but this was Joel Coleman, a GK from the Terriers; they also signed Blackburn Rovers’ former keeper, Canadian (his nationality, not his first name) Jaydon Leutwiler, once of Shrewsbury, but before that, of Basel FC , and, on loan, of FC Shaffhousen, Wohlen, Yverdon-Sport and Concordia – and by the way, he played 6 games for Blackburn in three seasons – plus CM Callum Camps (who’s scoring a few), CM Jordan Rossiter from ‘Rising Damp’ (OK, from Rangers) – welcome to the “Joel, Jaydon and Jordan Show”), RMF Dark Muffy – sorry, Mark Duffy – from the Blades, CB Sam Stubbs from Middlesbrough, Scottish defender Charlie Mulgrew, also from Rovers – could be a good signing, and one Sam Finlay, of whom you may have heard (and so have the Disciplinary Panel) ............

The CodPieces’ season so far reads P6 W2 D1 L3 GF8 GA7 for 7 points and 14th place, behind Crewe and above Charlton on GD (+2 plays +1 plays -1, and both have a game in hand on Joey Barton’s Boys) ..... the wins were against Burton (2-1) and Hell City (4-1) – both at home, the draw was a ‘stale’ goalless Desmond against the Lincoln Continentals, and the defeats (three in a row, so a bonus mark) were 2-1 at Posh (currently 4th), 1-0 at home to the Wombles (11th), and 2-1 at The Doodles (23rd - who only have one other point apart from that game) .....as for League goals, Harvey Saunders has 3, as does Callum ‘Carry On Camping’, with Paddy Madden and Sam Stubbs having one each ............ incidentally, they’ve also scored seven in the EFL Cup (3-2 v Wigan, 2-1 v Portly, and 2-5 v Everton) and six in the Troffy (3-1 at Carlisle and 3-0 against Villa’s u8s), where they and Slumberland are already through to Round Two

Deadline for entries is, as always, scheduled kick-off time, which is 7.00pm on Tuesday 20th October (they thought it might save putting the floodlights on so early if they kicked off before 7.45, but I promise them it won’t!) ...... and a belated Happy Birthday to Saint Andy of the Holts ........... and why hasn’t Wynonie signed up this season to cheer us all up w1th his – how do I put this politely? – ‘quirky’ predictions? ........... And our ref for this one is Darren Drysdale – if I translate the website correctly, he’s a “Sergeant bei der Royal Air Force” (that one’s for you, Dave) .......... and he last refereed in Lancashire when Newcastle did Morecambe over 7-0 back in September in the EFL Cup .... so that’s defeats for FC ShrimpingNets by 4-0, 5-0 and 7-0, and it’s only the middle of October..... all together now, “In referendarius a bastardis” !

Good luck to everyone! ………….. Stay safe and keep well! ………… And thanks for playing!