[West Ender]

This is exactly what happened to my younger daughter at the end of her last term at High School, at around the time she was taking GCSEs. For reasons that we never discovered, one of her oldest "friends" turned against her and was followed by the rest of the group (all good friends before) who, effectively, "froze her out".

My daughter coped very well, academically, and did well in her exams but she refused to stay at the school for 6th form and went to a FE college. The psychological effect on her was more subtle. There were then, in the early 90s, no mentors. I, like you, had advised her to ride it out, hoping that things would sort themselves out and not wishing to make things worse at such a critical time in her school career. They didn't. I feel that I should have done more at the time, with hindsight, but I didn't fully appreciate how devastated she was.

As an indirect result of the low self-esteem this bullying induced she became clinically depressed after a year or two, made worse when her dad died suddenly and unexpectedly when she was 20, and it took quite a time to get her back on to an even keel. Consequently, she failed her A levels and dropped her long held ambition to become a teacher.

Today she is a happy, well-balanced almost-30 year old, a brilliant mother to her own daughter, a "Brown Owl", a PTA committee member, a "people's person" and has a good, responsible job. All this is the result of her own determination and the help of the medical profession and us, her family. It is certainly no thanks to her former so-called friends or her school.

I hope your daughter's problem is on the way to being resolved, Willow. If you suspect it isn't, go to the school yourself and make them listen to you. Bullying in any form is harmful and the results can be catastrophic. Suggesting that the victim might move to another school is allowing the bullies to win and certainly won't prevent them from continuing their actions against any one else.