Accrington Web - View Single Post - TRUE CONFESSIONS ,,(and nothing but the truth).......

fireman · 10-03-2005, 19:09

Right as the title says it's time to confess, that something you did or said that you have never told about. It can be funny , serious, confessional whatever but everyone has something to confess so lets have a bumper thread and a dam good laugh eh. I WILL START WITH SOMETHING I'M NOT PROUD OF BUT HAVE LAUGHED ABOUT IT.................
Picture the scene,. A few days earlier I had just taken delivery of my first new Mercedes. I was driving towards Blackpool on the M55, and overtaking a lorry at about 65mph. Suddenly whilst I was still alongside the lorry the driver started to wander into my lane, forcing me to mount the central reservation to avoid a collision. I WAS MAD. Various signs and gesticulations took place and I managed to get past the lorry . The driver was also gesticulating and flashing his lights. We were coming close to a turn off so I signalled to the driver to pull off the motorway and we will sort this out. Surprisingly he duly followed me up the slip road and we stopped on a hotel forecourt. We were both very soon out of our respective vehicles. " What the hell are you playing at you P----ck you nearly caused a seroious accident". The driver was very annoyed and quick to reply, "JUST BECAUSE YOU DRIVE A MERCEDES YOU THINK YOU OWN THE F-------G ROAD." My back was now up and I was feeling nasty....."I don't own the road at all but I have a right to drive on it without idiots like you almost running me off it." He quickly replied."I've met people like you beforeand you think you own the road". " I DON'T OWN THE ROAD I SAID BUT CAN I ASK YOU WHO OWNS THAT LORRY YOUR DRIVING?. The lorry was not lettered or anything to state an owner. " I don't know said the driver I just drive." "WEL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING DRIVER, I OWN THAT WAGON SO YOU CHOSE THE WRONG ONE TO TRY TO RUN OFF THE ROAD AND CERTAINLY THE WRONG ONE TO ARGUE WITH, SO GET BACK INTO THE CAB, TAKE THE LORRY BACK TO THE DEPOT AND PICK UP YOUR CARDS AND NOW"
" Oh there is no need to take it that far said the driver, I have a wife and kids to support". "YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT EARLIER WHEN YOU WERE DRIVING LIKE AN IDIOT" " I'M SORRY SAID THE DRIVER BUT PLEASE DON'T FIRE ME I LEARNED MY LESSON" Too late I told him "Back to the depot and pick up your cards"
With that I got back into my car and left the driver as sick as a parrot by the roadside. Within a minute he was in his cab and heading back down the M55 from wence he came obviously working out how to tell his transport manager that he had been sacked. I bet he scanned the country for my car after that, but I would love to have been a fly on the wall in the transport manager's office.
YOUR TURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10-03-2005, 19:09	#1
fireman member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Anywhere if its warm. Posts: 1,129 Liked: 0 times Rep Power: 53	TRUE CONFESSIONS ,,(and nothing but the truth)....... Right as the title says it's time to confess, that something you did or said that you have never told about. It can be funny , serious, confessional whatever but everyone has something to confess so lets have a bumper thread and a dam good laugh eh. I WILL START WITH SOMETHING I'M NOT PROUD OF BUT HAVE LAUGHED ABOUT IT................. Picture the scene,. A few days earlier I had just taken delivery of my first new Mercedes. I was driving towards Blackpool on the M55, and overtaking a lorry at about 65mph. Suddenly whilst I was still alongside the lorry the driver started to wander into my lane, forcing me to mount the central reservation to avoid a collision. I WAS MAD. Various signs and gesticulations took place and I managed to get past the lorry . The driver was also gesticulating and flashing his lights. We were coming close to a turn off so I signalled to the driver to pull off the motorway and we will sort this out. Surprisingly he duly followed me up the slip road and we stopped on a hotel forecourt. We were both very soon out of our respective vehicles. " What the hell are you playing at you P----ck you nearly caused a seroious accident". The driver was very annoyed and quick to reply, "JUST BECAUSE YOU DRIVE A MERCEDES YOU THINK YOU OWN THE F-------G ROAD." My back was now up and I was feeling nasty....."I don't own the road at all but I have a right to drive on it without idiots like you almost running me off it." He quickly replied."I've met people like you beforeand you think you own the road". " I DON'T OWN THE ROAD I SAID BUT CAN I ASK YOU WHO OWNS THAT LORRY YOUR DRIVING?. The lorry was not lettered or anything to state an owner. " I don't know said the driver I just drive." "WEL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING DRIVER, I OWN THAT WAGON SO YOU CHOSE THE WRONG ONE TO TRY TO RUN OFF THE ROAD AND CERTAINLY THE WRONG ONE TO ARGUE WITH, SO GET BACK INTO THE CAB, TAKE THE LORRY BACK TO THE DEPOT AND PICK UP YOUR CARDS AND NOW" " Oh there is no need to take it that far said the driver, I have a wife and kids to support". "YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT EARLIER WHEN YOU WERE DRIVING LIKE AN IDIOT" " I'M SORRY SAID THE DRIVER BUT PLEASE DON'T FIRE ME I LEARNED MY LESSON" Too late I told him "Back to the depot and pick up your cards" With that I got back into my car and left the driver as sick as a parrot by the roadside. Within a minute he was in his cab and heading back down the M55 from wence he came obviously working out how to tell his transport manager that he had been sacked. I bet he scanned the country for my car after that, but I would love to have been a fly on the wall in the transport manager's office. YOUR TURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!