[JohnW]

So, a local jazz pianist I knew had just started work at this club in Southport where I lived at the time. I would be in my mid to late twenties and I decided to go along and listen to him. I was out early and arrived at the club around 8:30 pm. The only people in the place were the guy on the door, a rather attractive barmaid and the owner of the club talking to a booze rep. I ordered a drink from the barmaid and she was very friendly and chatty. I asked what time the music started and she said not until 10 pm. I didn't fancy sitting there by myself for over an hour so I asked her if I went out to the pub for an hour would I have to pay again on the door when I returned. She told me no I would get in OK without paying. "How will the doorman know" I asked. "Oh, don't worry" she said, "I'll remember YOU" Emphasis on the 'YOU'. Looks promising I thought, so, off I went and returned to the club 10 minutes before the music was due to start. The doorman tried to charge me again so I told him the story and he called over to the barmaid who told him to let me in. I'd just made it to the bar, when the pianist, with whom I was well acquainted, arrived and came up to me and started chatting. I asked him what he was drinking and ordered both of us a drink. When the barmaid gave me my change there was a key in amongst it. Well, my head must have swelled visibly. I felt like James Bond. Nothing like that had ever happened to ugly little me before (or since for that matter). I had a couple of sips of my drink while she was serving other people and then I was just about to give her a knowing smile and ask her which door the key fitted when the pianist leaned over the bar and said, "Have you got the key to the piano love?" "I gave it to 'im" she replied, pointing dismissively at me. I had to make a big show of pretending to look in my pocket and 'discover' the key. Bloody 'ell, what a letdown. Head, along with everything else, shrinking back to normal size!!!