[Bazf]

A husband and wife are eating dinner one night when the wife asks, “If I died, would you marry again?”
“Yes,” the husband says.
“Would you let her into my house?”
“Yes,” the husband says.
“Would she sleep in my bed?”
“Yes,” the husband says.
“And would she use my golf clubs?”
“Definitely not,” the husband says.
“Of all things, why not the clubs?”
“Because she’s left-handed.”

Sex education
Young Judith runs out to the backyard, where her father is chopping wood. She looks up at the hard-working parent, smiles, and asks: ‘Daddy, what is ‘sex’?’ Laying down his axe, the old-timer sits beside his daughter and starts to explain about the birds and the bees. Then he tells her about conception, sperm and eggs. Next he thinks, ‘What the hell – I might as well explain the whole works,’ and goes into great detail about puberty, menstruation, erections and wet dreams. Judith’s eyes bulge as her old man continues his lesson, moving on to masturbation, oral, anal and group sex, pornography, bestiality, dildos and homosexuality. Realizing he has probably gone too far, the father pauses and asks, ‘So, Judith, why do you want to know about sex?’ ‘Well,’ says the fresh-faced youngster. ‘Mummy said to tell you that lunch will be ready in a couple of secs.’