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Acrylic-bob · 25-03-2005, 06:33

I laughed a lot when I read the front page of the Observer. I laughed even more when I read Graham's post. How galling it must be for someone who believes that the world revolves around them, and them alone, to discover that it doesn't. Charles Clarke has gone up in my estimation.

Reading further, it seems that springtime has come to La-la-land! Our officially snubbed and justifiably much maligned leader has graciously given us a rundown of all the tremendously exciting non-events that will be coming our way this summer.

Make sure you are sitting down and have a bottle of Sal-Volatile handy before you read this next bit, it may be far too sensational for some of you.

More money will be chucked at the defunct fountains at the bottom of Ormerod Street, the site is to be known officially as Diamond Gardens. Which is not, as some of you might think, an oblique reference to the amount of rate payers cash already thrown away on it, but as a way of memorialising the 60th anniversary of the end of World War II.

We may also expect further episodes in that long running farce Project Phoenix. A bird that has taken so long to get off the ground that I am surpised that it has not succumbed to evolutionary pressure and become extinct. Or maybe it has and it is just that HBC are loathe to let it die with dignity.

This one made me giggle; The Neighbourhood Management Process, after months of false starts and misunderstandings has finally got down to what our dear leader describes as "The nitty-gritty of finding out what people want" As though the countless letters to the Observer, and the tidal waves of complaints that must be swilling around Scaitcliffe House didn't give them a clue!

Another "exciting new development" his words not mine, is the launch of the council's Contact Centre.

Ohh be still my beating heart! Quick nurse, the Valium!

"Meaning that we can offer a better service to you by Joining up District and County services. You'll only need to make one call to the council to access those services" Exciting development, one call, yeah, right. "please chose from the following nine hundred options - I'm sorry we are experiencing an unusual volume of calls, you are currently being held in a queue, your call is important to us" etc. etc. ad infinitum, ad nauseam!

To add to your collection of recycling recepticles there will now be containers for cardboard and textiles. If we carry on at this rate there will be no room in our homes for anything other than the storage of waste.

Saving the best till last - he is such a tease! - he informs us that work to improve the look of Broadway is expected to start at the height of the tourist season. So get your shopping done before June because after then you won't be able to get near Broadway till Christmas!

And you wonder where all the money goes. Tchh! How ungrateful!

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25-03-2005, 06:33	#5
Acrylic-bob God Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Tragic Conn Posts: 4,007 Blog Entries: 15 Liked: 3 times Rep Power: 2472	Re: This Weeks Observer I laughed a lot when I read the front page of the Observer. I laughed even more when I read Graham's post. How galling it must be for someone who believes that the world revolves around them, and them alone, to discover that it doesn't. Charles Clarke has gone up in my estimation. Reading further, it seems that springtime has come to La-la-land! Our officially snubbed and justifiably much maligned leader has graciously given us a rundown of all the tremendously exciting non-events that will be coming our way this summer. Make sure you are sitting down and have a bottle of Sal-Volatile handy before you read this next bit, it may be far too sensational for some of you. More money will be chucked at the defunct fountains at the bottom of Ormerod Street, the site is to be known officially as Diamond Gardens. Which is not, as some of you might think, an oblique reference to the amount of rate payers cash already thrown away on it, but as a way of memorialising the 60th anniversary of the end of World War II. We may also expect further episodes in that long running farce Project Phoenix. A bird that has taken so long to get off the ground that I am surpised that it has not succumbed to evolutionary pressure and become extinct. Or maybe it has and it is just that HBC are loathe to let it die with dignity. This one made me giggle; The Neighbourhood Management Process, after months of false starts and misunderstandings has finally got down to what our dear leader describes as "The nitty-gritty of finding out what people want" As though the countless letters to the Observer, and the tidal waves of complaints that must be swilling around Scaitcliffe House didn't give them a clue! Another "exciting new development" his words not mine, is the launch of the council's Contact Centre. Ohh be still my beating heart! Quick nurse, the Valium! "Meaning that we can offer a better service to you by Joining up District and County services. You'll only need to make one call to the council to access those services" Exciting development, one call, yeah, right. "please chose from the following nine hundred options - I'm sorry we are experiencing an unusual volume of calls, you are currently being held in a queue, your call is important to us" etc. etc. ad infinitum, ad nauseam! To add to your collection of recycling recepticles there will now be containers for cardboard and textiles. If we carry on at this rate there will be no room in our homes for anything other than the storage of waste. Saving the best till last - he is such a tease! - he informs us that work to improve the look of Broadway is expected to start at the height of the tourist season. So get your shopping done before June because after then you won't be able to get near Broadway till Christmas! And you wonder where all the money goes. Tchh! How ungrateful! . __________________ Enough is ENOUGH Get Britain out of Europe Last edited by Acrylic-bob; 25-03-2005 at 06:37.