[pendy]

Apparently "dinner ladies" is sexist and derogatory. They will in future be known as "Catering Solution Co-ordinators".

Also, to avoid sexist stereotyping, the word "man" will be replaced in all cases by the word "person", e.g. personhole cover, persondate, personagement, Personchester United, Personcunian.

Also, to avoid any insulting reference to our fellow creatures of the porcine variety, the word "ham" will be substituted by "creature of the porcine variety. This may cause problems for David Beckcreatureoftheporcinevariety, but just thing what it will do to those smug b****rs in what used to be Cheltenham!

I hope that is quite clear.