[Bazf]

I once worked for radio Humberside as a budding DJ and general dogsbody, notice the word budding and general dogsbody just fit so well together, and of course the program controller was my boss and what he said was gospel, no if's or but's, so one day he called (shouted some unpleasent name) me in to his office and said Baz I have decided to give you your big break you are going to do the 11 till 3 slot, that means I only have 3hrs to get the music ready and talk to the traffic people and get some jingles sorted out....no you dick..head I mean 11 at night till 3 in the morning. Ok not the break I expected but still on the radio and I could do what I liked as the PC said no buggers going to be listening anyway.
I spent the day putting tracks together and practicing so everything would go smoothly and you guessed "it did" and the PC was so impressed he told me to take over the slot for the rest of the month, well after the euphoria of the first week it dawned on me that working 9 at night until 4 in the morning sucked but it was double the money compared with being a dogsbody.
I tried a phone in, no reponse, I tried a quiz, no response, I even tried requested love songs, no response, as a last resort I decided to ask the PC if we could give away prizes to maybe help and at least find out if we had any one listening at this time in the morning, he ok'ed it but said check how much stuff we've got in the shop and don't be too expensive.
So off we went anyone sending in a request 1 free Radio Humberside t shirt not a single call, so I sat down with the PC and he said they would give it one more week and if no response then we would go to a continuous tape (remember the reel to reels) as this experiment was on the behest of the owners and he had told them nobody would listen at that time in the morning.
I am now in a bit of a pickle having got used to the better money and of course found a new girlfriend who likes going out with a real DJ from a radio station what was I to do? the answer came in a flash of genius I would invent listeners untill I could convince some people to call or write in etc.
Now as a night time DJ you ran your own studio, no engineers or control staff you answered the phone in the studio and you ran it from the seat of your pants.
I managed to get a couple of friends to call in and I changed my voice a couple of times then out of the blue I managed to get a record of people being interviewed for the BBC in Yorkshire after a bit of cutting and glueing I had a couple of hundred different things being said on tape and the night time show took off, of course I had to do something about the T Shirts and Sweatshirts and a few pens so I did a deal with a market trader who would buy the T Shirts and I would have extra money.