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Re: Average contents: 2
Hers some I found
•Sleeping Pills -- Caution: May make you drowsy.
•Lighters -- Contents flammable.
•Dog Shampoo -- The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.
•Shampoo -- Intended for use on hair only -- not eyes.
•Stroller -- Remove infant before folding for storage.
•Curling Iron -- Not for internal use.
•Microwave Oven -- Do not use for drying pets.
•Child's Playhouse -- This is not a toy.
•Toilet Bowl Cleaning Brush -- Do not use orally.
•King Size Mattress -- Warning: Do not attempt to swallow.
•Can of Insecticide -- This spray is harmful to insects.
•Firecrackers -- Do not light while holding in mouth.
•Fat-Free Potato Chips -- May cause anal leakage.
•Peanut Butter -- Warning: May contain nuts.
•TV Dinner -- Remove plastic wrap cover before eating.
•Batteries -- Do not swallow. C or D batteries may cause choking.
•.22-Caliber Rifle -- May cause injury or death.
•Hardware Store Rotary Drill -- This product not intended for dental purposes.
•Hemorrhoid Suppositories -- Remove aluminum wrapping before insertion.
•Disposable Diapers -- Dispose of after use.
•Electric Cattle Prod -- For use on animals only.
Hair Coloring- Do not use as Ice Cream Topping
Hair Dryer- Do not use while sleeping
Iron- Never iron clothes on body
Coffee- Contents may be hot
Children's cough medicine- Do not drive or operate machinery after taking this substance
Airline Peanuts- Directions: Open Package, Eat Nuts
Peanuts- Warning: May Contain Nuts
Computers- Keyboard not Detected: press F1 to continue
Dumpster- Do not play in or around
Camera- Camera will only work with film inside
Japanese GameCube Manual- Do not put head in deck: May result in injury
Aspirin- Do not eat cotton inside
Can of Soup- Open Can, Empty into serving container, Stir
Cigarette Lighter: Do not ignite near face
Chain Saw- Do not attempt to stop chain with hand or genitals
Soda Bottle (on Bottom)- Open other end
Drink Bottle- After opening, hold upright
Holiday Lights- For indoor or outdoor use only
Kitchen Knives- Keep out of Children
Marks and Spencer's Bread Pudding- Product will be hot after heating
Blanket- Do not use as protection from a Tornado
Shower Cap- Fits one head only
Bottle Cap- Warning: Bottle cap is small
Light bulb- Do not Lick
Microwave- Do not put cats or children in microwave
Kitchen Knives- Do not stab self. May result in injury or death
Dial Soap- Use like any other soap
Food Processor- Do not use for other use
Children's Superman Costume- Wearing of this garment does not enable child to fly
Bottom of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert- Do not turn upside down
Most Frozen Foods- Must be heated before eating
Water Bottle- For best results, remove cap before drinking
Sleep Aid- May cause drowsiness
Blender- Do not use as an Aquarium
Razor Blade- Do not use during an earthquake
Dog Biscuits- Not intended for human consumption
Swanson Frozen Dinner- Serving Suggestion: Defrost
Air Conditioner- Avoid Dropping Air Conditioners out of window
Vacuum Cleaner- Do not use to pick up gasoline or other flammable liquids
Vacuum Cleaner- Do not use to pick up things that are currently burning
Nabisco Easy Cheese- For best results, remove cap
Liquid Plumber- Do not reuse bottle to store beverages
Bowl Fresh- Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet
Toilet Plunger- Do not use near power lines
Floodlight- This flood light is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark
Coat- Wash when dirty
Wheelbarrow- Do not use when temperature exceeds 140 degrees Fahrenheit
Mattress- Do not attempt to swallow
Computer manual- If on button does not work, try plugging computer into the wall, usually with a power cord
Fire Logs- Risk of Fire
Matches- Matches may catch on fire
Dog Shampoo- Do not use contents to feed fish
Curling Iron- Warning: Product may burn eyes
Hair Dryer- Do not use in shower
Shin Guards- Shin guards cannot protect any other part of body that they don't cover
Ziploc- Do not climb in bag and zip it up: doing so may cause injury
Shipment of Hammers- Do not swallow
Sign at a railroad station- Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted
Silly Putty- Do not use as earplugs
Frisbee- may contain small parts
Altoid Mints- Replace cap between use
Beach Ball- Do not over-inflate. May cause ball to burst at seams
Watch- Japan quality: Made in China
Road Sign- Caution water on road during rain.
7 Up-Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening
Sainsburys Mineral Water-suitable for vegetarians
Silk Soy Milk- Shake well and buy often
Volvic Natural Mineral Water- Bottle exclusively designed for the use of Volvic Natural Mineral Water. Do not refill
Lucent Technologies Model 6210 Telephone
The following is found on page 4 of the instruction book: To place or answer a call, lift the handset. To place a call, dial the desired number. To end the call, hang up the handset. To put on hold, press "Hold"
Windex- Do not spray in eyes
Herbal Essences Maximum Hold Hairspray- WARNING: Do not smoke until hair is dry.
Heinz Ketchup- Put on Food
Bakery Cherries- Flavored with real fruit
Domino Sugar- Ingredients: Sugar
Ring Pops- Made with real fruit juices: (Artificially flavored)
Fruit by the Foot- Remove from cellophane before eating
Hormel Pepperoni- Do not eat packet
Haagan-Daz Ice Cream- Caution: Ice cream is cold
Lunchables Nachos- Directions: Dip chips in salsa and cheese
Giant Bucket of Pickles used in Fast Food Restaurants- Warning: Children can drown in bucket, do not place kids in juice
Wal-Mart Fish Tank- "Additional purchase ideas: rocks, aquatic plant life, fish"
Mr. Bubbles- Not intended for human consumption
RCA Television Remote Control- Not Dishwasher Safe
Road Sign- "Ignore this sign".
Road Sign Cruise ships use airport exit
Road Sign- Warning to tourists: don't laugh at the natives.
Dryer- Do not use dryer to dry pets and children
Road Sign- If tunnel is dark, remove sunglasses.
McDonalds Sign- Parking for Drive-Thru service only
Road Sign- Secret Nuclear Bunker >
500 piece puzzle- Some Assembly required
Harry Potter Toy broom- This broom does not actually fly
McDonalds Toys- Warning! this bag is not a toy
"Guess Who" Game- Cards do not actually talk
Lawnmower- Warning: Do not attempt to remove blade while lawnmower is running or plugged into an outlet.
Mulch- Contains Forest Products
Bath and Body Works Candle- Final Product not tested on animals
Bag of Carrots- Ingredients: Carrots
Laundry Detergent- Remove all clothes before distributing in washing machine
Red Baron Pizza- When cooking, place crust side down
Beef Taco Hot Pockets- This Product must be cooked prior to eating (This is a frozen food)
Roll of Life Savers- not a flotation device.
Handgun- Not to be used as a nutcracker.
Panty Hose- Not to be used in the commission of a felony.
Palm Sander- Not to be used to sand palms.
On a microscope- Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear.
Windshield sun shade- Do not drive with shade in place.
Infant's bathtub- Do not throw baby out with tub water.
Wheelbarrow- Not intended for highway use
TV Manual- Do not pour liquids on TV set.
Shampoo- Use repeatedly for sever damage.
Toner Cartridge for printer- Do not eat Toner
Novelty Rock Garden set- Eating rocks can lead to broken teeth.
In an guide to setting up a new computer: to avoid condensation forming, allow the boxes to warm up to room Temperature before opening.
(instruction was on the inside of the box.)
Piano- Harmful or Fatal is swallowed.
Wet Suit- Capacity:1
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins-Why Not Try Tossing Over Your Favorite Breakfast Cereal?
Manual for a heated seat cushion-Warning: Do not use on eyes.
On a bag of fresh grapes- Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator.
Instructions for a cordless phone- Do not put lit candles on phone.
Birthday Candles- Extinguish candles before throwing away
Bulls-eye Ball- Score depends on skill of player.
Coffee Pot- Broken glass can cause injury. Do not hold pot over people.
*NEW* Coolerz Gum- Not for weight control
And some dumb signs:
On a Septic Tank Truck- Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
On a Septic Tank Truck- We're #1 in the #2 Business
On a Plumber's Truck- We repair what your husband fixed
Pizza Shop Slogan- Seven Days without Pizza makes one weak
On a Plastic Surgeon's office door- "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
At a towing company- We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
On an electricians truck- Let us remove your shorts
In a nonsmoking area- "if we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
On a maternity room door- Push. Push. Push.
At an Optometrists office- If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
On a Fence- Salesman welcome! Dog food is expensive.
At a car dealership- the best way to get back on your feet--miss a car payment.
Outside a muffler shop- No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
In a veterinarian's waiting room- Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
At the Electric Company- We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be.
In a Restaurant window- Don't stand there and be hungry, come inside and get fed up.
In front of a Funeral home- Drive Carefully. We'll wait.
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