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There has been some talk in the news lately about having combined police forces so that major crimes can be handled without the resources becoming too strained.

Is this just the tip of the ice-berg? How long will it be before all 999 calls are outsourced to call centres in Bombay for example?

Ring, ring, ring, ring....."Welcome to to the country-wide Police
emergency call line, if this is an emergency press one or say One then
press the hash key".

1#

"Thank-you, if this is a life threatening emergency press 1.
If it is to report on ongoing crime press 2.
If you have just arrived home to find all your goods and chattels have been removed press 3.
If it is a domestic disturbance press 4.
If you would like to buy tickets to the policemans ball press 5.
For any other type of incident or to complain about your superb country-wide police force please put it in writing and
send to your local centralised, country wide police force representative the address is in your phone book.

If you would like to speak to a real live police-man press 6,
but don't get your hopes up, he has probably thrown another 'sicky' because of the stress of centralisation!"