[jambutty]

I have two bedside tables, well two bedside cabinets actually that happen to have a tabletop. Both cabinets are empty, I think. I haven’t looked for years. One drawer contains a spare bulb for the bedside lamp. The other is empty now because I have taken the one million quid out of it and taped the money behind my desk.

The left hand cabinet/table has a clock radio and dust. I always sleep on my right side so on the rare occasion that it is used to wake me at some ungodly hour I have to turn over to turn it off. Once I move and my eyes open the brain kicks in and sleep becomes impossible - so I get up. It works for me.

On the right hand table/cabinet is a unique only one of its kind bedside lamp and a torch, ex navy of course. Donkeys years ago when I were foreman at Dynamo Electric in Blackburn our ‘experimental’ department made the lamp that would double as emergency lighting in the event of a power failure. I rescued it from the skip when Dynamo closed down and we all got made redundant.

The base, about 8 inches in diameter and about 5 inches high, holds the re-chargeable batteries and electronics. The stem holds 2 fluorescent tubes surrounded by a diffuser and these light up when the power fails or the plug is pulled. There is a push button switch to select one or both tubes to be lit. There is a second push button switch that controls the normal light. On top of the stem is a normal light fitting but I use a 25w switchboard bulb with a spare in the drawer. It is all topped with a normal lampshade and dust of course.

At my age a bed is for sleeping in so other accoutrements are surplus to requirements. Even if I am feeling not so clever I still manage to get up and flop into my reclining rocking chair.