[Mick]

• All English Men over 14 are meant to carry out 2 hours (or so) of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.
• London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats.
• It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises.
• It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person.
• Chelsea Pensioners may not be impersonated.
• A bed may not be hung out of a window.
• It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.
• Throughout the whole of England it is illegal to eat mince pies on the 25th of December.
• Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked manequin.
• It is illegal to leave baggage unattended, and picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism.
• Those wishing to use a television must apply for a license.
• It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.
• It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.
• Committing suicide is classified as a capital crime. (Repealed)
  

And specific areas of the country...
Chester

• You can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.

Hereford

• You can shoot a Welsh person all day, but only on Sunday, with a Longbow, in the Cathedral Close.

London

• You are considered a freeman if you can drive your geese down Cheapside and to be hanged with silk rope (as opposed to plain old hemp).
• Companies may vote in local elections.

York

• Upon sight of a Scotsman, it is still legal to shoot him with a bow and arrow, except on Sundays.

Scotland

• You may not fish on Sundays.
• It is illegal to be a drunk in possession of a cow.
• Trespassing on someone else's land is legal.
• You are presumed guilty until proven innocent for some crimes.
• If someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your commode, you must let them enter.