It is with great shame that I confess that I've been watching Channel 5's 'Trust me, I'm a beauty therapist'.
It really is the most amazing guff, it's really like an art house movie, truly bizarre.
The star of the show is Lauren, whose only claim to fame was that he was a posh little boy who appeared on Wogan as an antiques expert in the 80's, but she is now a stroopy Welsh woman, who looks 80.
Sadly it ends tomorrow, and I don't know how to fill the gap, except perhaps to book a back, crack and sack wax.
Tongs: James Harries