[WillowTheWhisp]

Originally Posted by gabby

sorry i disagree i have always been responsable for my children werever they went i would take them to a safe place and i would pick them up this responsability is yours if you want them to have outside intersts, you canot put the safty of your child onto some-one else unless it is agreed with them before hand . youth groups are there to help children not to take full responseability off the parent i am sorry if you dont agree with me but this is my view whitch has been asked for

I think you're missing the point gabby.

If my husband was at home he would take her.

I do not drive.

If my husband was not at home I could have got a taxi, I could have gone there with her in the taxi and waited there until they'd finished or got a taxi back home again and then got one back to collect her. If she had wanted to go and Busman couldn't have taken her then that would have been my next thought.

My point is that the Youth Club has a mini bus. My daughter was offered a lift in this mini bus. They have both gone by mini bus in the past and both gone by Busman-car in the past. Sometimes they have had other things they preferred to do instead. She was phoned on Thursday evening after she had gone to bed and so I took the call. I was asked if she needed a lift to send her to wait at the top of Chester Street for the mini bus.

As a responsible parent I did not find it acceptable for a 12 year old to be asked to stand on a street corner alone in the dark and wasn't prepared to let her do that. The options then could have been either she didn't go or she went by taxi. However when I ponted out to the guy on the phone that I didn't like the idea of her standing on the street corner alone in the dark he then said he would pick her up from home "just this once". I then decided to ask if other parents (apologies to Dads for only addressing this thread to Mums) felt as I do - in other words did anyone here think I was being over protective or just a normal responsible parent who cares about the welfare of her daughter.

There is also the other remote possibility that the phone call may not have been from the minibus driver but from some perv who'd overheard a conversation about this bus and lifts etc between my daughters and some of the Hope Centre folks who they often chat to in town. She could have been overheard telling someone her phone number. The person who phoned here could have asked her to wait out of sight of home and then kidnapped her, raped her and dumped her dead body somewhere. Unlikely? Maybe but as far as I'm concerned it's a possibility and another damn good reason not to expect someone involved with young kids to think its perfectly safe for a 12 year old girl to be asked to stand at the top of Chester St alone in the dark.

It's not about whether I coud have gone down there and stood with her. It's about her being asked to do that. Can't you understand that?

Now suddenly I'm the irresponsible one who "puts the safety of my child onto someone else."

There are times when a child has to do things on their own - going to school being one of them. You can't expect parents to take their children to school once they reach a responsible age - it would be impossible for parents who had a child say at Springhill and one at Moorhead to take both of them in opposite directions at the same time. Nobody can be in two places at once and at one time Emz went to Springhill and Mimi went to Moorhead - Mimi caught the bus to town outside our backdoor and the bus from town up to school, which they both now do. Am I irresponsible for letting them do that alone? Am I irresponsible for letting my 15 year old go to a dance with other 14 -18 year olds under adult supervision and taken there and brought back (door to door) by a friend of ours (and parent of one of the girls' friends) who has a mini bus? I don't drive. I couldn't have taken her.

Good grief if I'm supposed to go everywhere with them maybe I'd better ask if I can sign up for the school trips too. Maybe I can go to Edge Camp - not that I'd be any use because my health would make me a liability not an asset. Now I do abdicate responsibility in those cases because as a school governor I know that certain proceedures and checks have to take place before any school trip goes ahead - even a half day to the local park. However, in view of this street corner in the dark business I was beginning to wonder if I should verify that all checks have been done and that kids are never expected to do anything at camp which could put them in danger - but I got my head bitten off for that. Seems I can't win either way. I'm either too irresponsible or not trusting enough depending on who disagrees with me.

If I sound annoyed at being accused of shirking my responsibilities as a parent then that's because I am.