[slinky]

Alcohol plus dates go together lie a fish in a pint.....Here's why.

20:03pm - Go to kiss him on the right cheek while he offers you his left. Kiss his earlobe instead ( eek)

20:45pm - Babble away to him to fill any dead airspace. Spend 30 minutes telling him about your gran's cat's arthiritis. (uh-oh)

21:30pm - Rant about how your Ex-Boyfriend would never have sex with you and always wore your dressing gown to bed...

21:55pm - Then take great pains to explain that you really, really love being single. And you're having the best time of your life. ( pretty awful)

22:13pm - Suggest playing pool. 'seductively' lean over pool table. Only stop when an old man shouts, ' nice pants love'. Miss every shot and spill red wine all over green felt.

22:14pm - Call him by wrong name. Laugh hysterically.

22:31pm - Go to the loo, realise you resemble Pete Doherty after an all-nighter and have a chat with the mirror to pull yourself together.

22:39pm - A girl whispers in your ear that your skirt is currently residing between your bum cheeks.

23:09pm - Lose your bag. Panic. scream. cry. Accuse him of stealing it. Find it on the bar where you left it.

23:26pm - Tell him you really like him, have done for ages and you check his myspace every day ( but not in a stalker kind of way).

23:35pm - Shut your eyes for a second while he is at the bar. Get woken up by your head hitting the table.

23:48pm - See him lean forward for a kiss, feel your tummy fizz and watch everything you've drunk since 8pm spray over his shoes.