[Bazf]

Is there a doctor in the house?

In the Omniplex a while back, a particularly boring bit of the movie was
on, when a cry came from the dark.

Shadow at the front (shouting): "Anyone! Is there a doctor here? Is
there a doctor here?"

(Shock. Confusion.)

Voice from the back: "Here - I'm a doctor"

Voice from the front: "Sh*te film, isn't it?" ...and sat back down

Voice from the back: "Little ba * tard - if I find ya I'll rattle ya"

Overheard - Santry Cinema by YoYoBoy
Posted - Wednesday, 27th April 2005

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Big Hitter

Playing on one of Dublin's less salubrious golf courses I teamed up
with a little auld Dub. After I hit an unusually long (and flukey) drive
the auld fella turned to me an said "Jaysus son, I wouldn't go that far
on me bleedin' holidays"

Overheard - Bodenstown Golf Club by Wardy Posted - Monday, 23rd May
2005

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Ireland of the Welcomes!

In Roddy Boland's in Rathmines one night I overheard a group of Italian
guys (tourists) trying to chat up two Irish girls and not getting very
far.

One of the Italian's started waxing lyrical about one of the girls and
her "beautiful pale skin" and said: "In my country, you would be a
Princess"

To which the Irish girl replied "And in my country, you'd work in a
chipper, now f**k off".

Overheard - Roddy Bolands by Kaz
Posted - Thursday, 21st April 2005

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Irish Law is never Black and White

In one of the Dublin district courts during a hearing the injured party
is being questioned by the defence barrister. The barrister is really
trying to put pressure on the defendent and questions whether he can
identify his client who alledgedly assaulted him. The injured party is
sitting in the witness box and without flinching points across the room
and says loudly...

"yer man there, the black fella."

The defence barrister looses the rag and begins ranting about being
prejudicial to his clients skin colour and so forth. The barrister
continues along this line of attack and says indignantly to the injured
party who is still in the witness box....

"can you identify the man in this courtroom who you alledge assaulted
you without referring to his skin colour?"

The injured party looks up at the judge and then at the barrister
shrugs and says... "yeah."

The barrister asks him to do so. The injured party points again across
the court room and says...

"yer man sitting over there between the two white blokes."

Overheard - Dublin District Court by Anon Posted - Thursday, 21st
April 2005

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Mutant horses

My uncle was in town one day and there was a man and his son walking
infront of him.two gardas came along on their horses and the dad says...
"take a good look at dat son coz theyre the only amimals you'll ever see
wit a b*ll*x underneath them and a b*ll*x on top of them"

Overheard - my uncle heard it on henry street by leah Posted -
Tuesday, 26th April 2005

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Hill 16 banter

Hill 16, Croke Park, Dublin playing Westmeath and Jason Sherlcok (half Irish Half Chinese)
becomes embroiled in a fight with the Westmeath corner back right in
front of the Hill. One wag shouts out....

"Go on Jason, hit him with your wok!"

Overheard - Hill 16 by Darren Halpin
Posted - Wednesday, 27th April 2005

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Busman's logic

My mate's mother was walking towards a bus stop on parnell street. A
bus pulled in just before she reached the stop she went up to talk to
the bus driver.....

Mate's mother: "What number bus is this?"

Bus driver: "Its a 40, it says so on the front"

Mate's mother: "Yeah, but it says 40a on the side and 40c on the
back?!"

Bus driver: "Well I'm not going sideways or backwards!!!"