[garinda]

I'm so sorry, that is a very sad tale.

It sounds like this kid is rebelling, against what I presume is a fairly pleasant life. I know you live in a nice part of the world, and this boy isn't a product of an inner city ghetto, but that really isn't the point. People from all walks of life sometimes bite the hand that feeds them. I've commented before that sometimes being too kind, as his grandparents have obviously been, isn't always the best way. Tough love can work, were as always pandering to someone's whims, isn't always the best way forward.

No matter what you do sometimes, nothing will change until that person realises they want to change.

I once shared a house with a heroin addict. Not through choice mind you, he was a friend of my then housemate. It was a nightmare, and not having emotional ties, I grew to hate him. Everything was done for him. He was housed, fed, clothed, found work when he could be bothered to go, sent for numerous expensive rehab programmes, the lot. All handed to him on a plate, and he just carried on using, both drugs and the people around who tried to help him.

It wasn't until he fell in love that he reached the point were he wanted to change for himself, and happily he did. He's now clean, married and a father to two great kids and lives in Italy. Sometimes people can change, if it's not too late, but only when they're ready.

Although you must be disappointed, just let him know that if he ever really needs you, you'll be there.

Good luck mate.