[shillelagh]

Fall Classes for Men at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Monday, Oct 30,2007
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.




Class 1


How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.


Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2


The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.


Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3


Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.


Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4


Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.


Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5


Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.


Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6


Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.


Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7


Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.


Open Forum.

Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8


Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.


Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9


Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.


Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10


Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.


4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11


Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.


Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12


How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.


Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13


How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.


Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14


The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.



Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.




Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.