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Tealeaf · 13-11-2003, 12:02

The action takes place in England of old - think of Ozzy on a wet tuesday night.
The head honcho is Lear (King). He has 3 horny daughters -Goneril, Regan & Cordelia, the favourite who gets the Jammy Dodgers all the time.
No sons & so he's worried what will happen when he kicks it.
He comes up with a cunning plan that if Cordelia can show she loves him most she gets the loot. However, Regs & Gono are a right pair of scheming little minxes and they move in to kiss his ar*e.

Cordy is like me; she has principles - she just says "I like yer, dad"....'Owd Lear ain't to happy with this and he tells her to p*ss off out of it, cause he want's the full monty from her.

Meanwhile, his owd mate Kent says "tha can't do that" to which Lear replies "thee can bu*gar off as well", which he does, exit stage right.

Hells bells - what happens next? Some frog king who's been lurking around in the background is supposidly impressed by Cordy's virtue - but just wants to get in her pants - says "hey madame - will you marry me". Cordy says "aye" and sods off over the channel with him.

Meanwhile, 'owd Kent returns, disguised as a servant - he wants to keep an eye on Lear and stop Regs & Gono ripping him off. There's no walking into the bedroom and seeing hanky-panky here. But it's to late - they've grabbed the lot.

Now it all gets a bit shifty. Kent ends up being locked up by Regs, Lear gets him out the sh*t and finally realises there's trouble at t'mill. It causes a mad rush o' blood t'head and Lear runs out into the night.

Another 'owd mate - Gloucester - turns up and offers Jam butty's, tea & sympathy 'cos he's got a couple of dodgy kids as well & he also comes up with the info that Regs & Gono are about to practice a spot of patricide..

"Bug*ar off to Dover" he tells Lear "Tha'll be safe their.."so he does, but it don't do Gloucester any good 'cos Regs hubby (Cornwall) comes round & pokes his eyes out - which he regrets 'cos Glous's serveant then runs him through with a sword...

Meanwhile, Cordy has turned up on Dover beach (No channel tunnel in those days) with an army of frogs. Cordy & her boys get stuck in with a right bunfight with Gono & Regs which the dozy bug*ar Lear manages to sleep through....Gono and Regs are crowned champs however and everything is their's for the asking

Typical women though, they both fancy the same bloke - Edmund, Gloucester's dodgy kid - who told the lads to top Cordy. What do they do? Gono sticks something wicked In Regs drink (and it ain't a date rape drug) but then finds out that Edmund has been topped as well so she tops herself too.

Meanwhile, Cordy gets strung up just as Lear turns up. He sees her dead.."We're all f*cking mad" he says "just like that lot on the Accy Web", keels over and dies.

Hope thats OK Jo - sorry I could'nt do it in German.

That's the plot as I remember it anyway.

13-11-2003, 12:02	#1
Tealeaf God Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Paradise Lost Posts: 7,220 Liked: 11 times Rep Power: 4266	For Jo - King Lear (a synopsis) The action takes place in England of old - think of Ozzy on a wet tuesday night. The head honcho is Lear (King). He has 3 horny daughters -Goneril, Regan & Cordelia, the favourite who gets the Jammy Dodgers all the time. No sons & so he's worried what will happen when he kicks it. He comes up with a cunning plan that if Cordelia can show she loves him most she gets the loot. However, Regs & Gono are a right pair of scheming little minxes and they move in to kiss his are. Cordy is like me; she has principles - she just says "I like yer, dad"....'Owd Lear ain't to happy with this and he tells her to pss off out of it, cause he want's the full monty from her. Meanwhile, his owd mate Kent says "tha can't do that" to which Lear replies "thee can bugar off as well", which he does, exit stage right. Hells bells - what happens next? Some frog king who's been lurking around in the background is supposidly impressed by Cordy's virtue - but just wants to get in her pants - says "hey madame - will you marry me". Cordy says "aye" and sods off over the channel with him. Meanwhile, 'owd Kent returns, disguised as a servant - he wants to keep an eye on Lear and stop Regs & Gono ripping him off. There's no walking into the bedroom and seeing hanky-panky here. But it's to late - they've grabbed the lot. Now it all gets a bit shifty. Kent ends up being locked up by Regs, Lear gets him out the sht and finally realises there's trouble at t'mill. It causes a mad rush o' blood t'head and Lear runs out into the night. Another 'owd mate - Gloucester - turns up and offers Jam butty's, tea & sympathy 'cos he's got a couple of dodgy kids as well & he also comes up with the info that Regs & Gono are about to practice a spot of patricide.. "Bugar off to Dover" he tells Lear "Tha'll be safe their.."so he does, but it don't do Gloucester any good 'cos Regs hubby (Cornwall) comes round & pokes his eyes out - which he regrets 'cos Glous's serveant then runs him through with a sword... Meanwhile, Cordy has turned up on Dover beach (No channel tunnel in those days) with an army of frogs. Cordy & her boys get stuck in with a right bunfight with Gono & Regs which the dozy bugar Lear manages to sleep through....Gono and Regs are crowned champs however and everything is their's for the asking Typical women though, they both fancy the same bloke - Edmund, Gloucester's dodgy kid - who told the lads to top Cordy. What do they do? Gono sticks something wicked In Regs drink (and it ain't a date rape drug) but then finds out that Edmund has been topped as well so she tops herself too. Meanwhile, Cordy gets strung up just as Lear turns up. He sees her dead.."We're all f*cking mad" he says "just like that lot on the Accy Web", keels over and dies. Hope thats OK Jo - sorry I could'nt do it in German. That's the plot as I remember it anyway.