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Oh begger this wireless keyboard it got it wrong again! The title should be Can you get my new passport?

This is the reason I was over in Liverpool today, Sat Nav' ain't it wonderful? I knew that since the last time I had been to scouseland the passport office had moved so although I knew the way to the 'pool where that office was I'd no idea, however, it took me straight there (goddam annoying woman with a plummy voice why did you have to be right?).

O.K. so my mate hates driving anywhere except local, crazy when you think he spent 20 or so years all over the world as a second engineer in the Merchant Navy, but that's life.

So we drive to the passport office, no parking, I stop on double yellows and there are wardens everywhere, (I did think of bringing one back for Blackburn Road), before I got the car out of gear and the handbrake on one of them is knocking on the window.

Deep breath, from the warden, you can't park here Sir, you must move on, no problem say I, just dropping this chap off then I'll move.

He stood there while my mate got out of the car even though there where loads of very expensive cars unoccupied parked on double yellows within ten yards.

Mate gets out and heads for passport office. I shoot off to find somewhere to park, I play ring a ring the rosies until I find a park and display point three streets away, get out of the car and the machine gives a choice of times, I choose the £3.00 slot nicely between the half hour and the two hour slot you can pay for, after all I don't know how long he's going to be.

Before I go to join him I decide to eat the sandwich I had bought when we filled up with petrol, delicious! Then I had a fag, oh nicely relaxed, I'll go see how he's doing at the passport office.

He is stood most agitated outside the passport office and relief fills his face when he sees me, where's the car he says. Parked three streets away I reply, why is he agitated? Because when that warden rushed him out of the car he left the documents on the back seat and it's ten to ten the passport people say if he doesn't have them there for ten he'll have to come back tomorrow.

It's just a month since his sixtieth birthday but if we can give our young athletes the incentive that guy had to run to and from that car in time to get his psis pot, (sorry keyboard again), we will win every gold in the 2012 Olympics.

The day doesn't end there, but if you want to know more about it let me know below.