OOerr a debate hehehehehehe
I thought smacking in public was banned anway, but i think the crux of the debate is more about the definition because there are different ideas on what constitutes as smacking.
To my opinion a tap is use of the flat fingers only & the palm of the hand DOES not connect with the person chastised, if palm should touch area is a full hand so therfore a smack, try it on yourself you'll see he difference the finger tap does not hurt, mark or anything but enough because the power behind it is so much weaker than sweeping motion of full hand. A tap to me is last resort if it goes beyond that then it means 'i the grown up has lost control of the situation'. Any chastisement should ALWAYS come with an explanation reason for doing so & it should fit the crime done, so that :
a] the child does not understand what its done wrong
b] how to do that situation better next time to make it right not wrong
c] gives child chance to explain their actions, reasons & stop confusion & the consequences of their actions [my kids hate that regular word hehehe]
d] dont ever shout at the child so the child feels they are wrong/unworthy/bad/unloved etc, BUT make the behaviour desicion itself the wrong issue, you love them very much but dont love/like their behaviour - its to be a seperate issue, otherwise the child will just beleive they are just bad & exhibit bad behaviour in order to gain attention to make themselves feel better because they are living up to their 'label' of bad child.
e] encourage the good in the child, praise, praise, praise, certainly if child has learnt their lesson & did it right next time, it will encourage the positive use of discipline without need of drastic resource, also if discipline is negative - your kids wont thank you for it later & bitter resentment will brew.
f] violence in a household is never a good thing - violence breeds violence & fear.
g] not all children are the same, in development, mentality, progress, emotionally, react & think differently etc so to be adaptable in approach of discipline.
h] Be firm BUT be fair
The ^^ above is my discipline guide - without smack or tap, you could say its my discipline lecture or nagbag as my kids call it & tbh has worked better than smacking. Smacking doesn't really solve anything & gets used to it, take from one that knows - you can get tough from a smack to the point it doesnt have the desired effect in the long term but to only have them unlease it in undesirable actions either way, giving it or being on receiving end later on or have inpounded psychological long lasting effect.
There are other ways to discipline but unfortunately it requires time, patience & effort, some parents dont have it. As this thread has proven that ideas on discipline vary & you dont get a child rearing perfect handbook, we all live & we learn as to deal with things, what works for me maynot to another & vice versa, adults are no different than kids really
