[West Ender]

Originally Posted by Less

Hello is that the police tag line?
(recorded voice) Hello you have contacted the police tag line if the person you wish to trace is a neighbour, PRESS 1.

If the person you wish to trace is a relative that you are only mildly concerned about PRESS 2.

If the person is known to disappear for days on end and comes back smelling of beer, DON'T PRESS ANYTHING IT'S YOUR HUSBAND, YOU NEED RELATE!

If the person has gone missing with one of our tags and we don't manage to find them you will be responsible for reimbursing the full cost of the missing piece of equipment, PRESS 3........hello? HELLOOO? No they've rung off again!

That's made my day. Brilliant!