How to answer this thread? Depression can strike when you least expect it, it is something I have suffered most of my life.
It is on the most part something you learn to live with and also hide, but the only people that know about it are your real friends, they will allow you to disappear when you're having a bad day. I feel that most people that suffer from depression are brave enough to cope with it on a day to day basis, but sometimes be it the loss of a loved one or your job or even something someone close to you would think trivial the edge suddenly crumbles and without even trying you fall into a pit of despair.
No use complaining, even the closest of friends can't understand why this item should be a problem but to you it is the end of the world.
Often a brave face is put on until you are no longer in company then the evil of it grips and no matter how illogical it might be you reach for relief from the torment that you have had to call life. It doesn't matter which method you choose, the annoying thing is that when you wake up in a hospital bed you don't feel grateful you fell ashamed because yet again you've tried something and failed!
Your friends and family gather around for a short period but once again on goes the brave face, normality has been reached, so the novelty of your foolish act, (yes it is foolish I'm not proud), is pushed to one side. But then you spend years on anti-depresents with the dose being doubled every few years because the doctor knows he hasn't got a cure, you also end up being accused of being lazy and not wanting to work, (a scrounger), and that hurts, (a lot).
But you've promised your loved ones you won't do it again so you are stuck in a life you don't enjoy, unable to look after yourself without what other people call hand outs.
A touch dramatic this one for an idiot like Less isn't it? But I don't want any of you to go through either the loss or the torment of attempting it yourself, those of you that have never attempted this won't understand may it always remain that way, those of us that have are just desperate images of you, so please, look out for us we are safe, just unhappy, don't bother trying to understand us.
I'm off now to bed, I often lie in a similar position to children still in the womb, that's the only way I can sleep.
