[whistler]

Subject: Irish Airways


Irish Airways


As they approached Dublin number 1 runway, the tower heard:


PILOT - Bjeesus will ya look how fookin shart dat runway is?

CO-PILOT - Yer nat fookin kiddin, Paddy


PILOT - Dis is ganna be one a de trickiest landings ever, Shamus!

CO-PILOT - Yer nat fookin kiddin, Paddy !!


PILOT - Right, Shamus, when I say 'go' put de engine in reverse!!

CO-PILOT - Royt, I'll do dat !!


PILOT - An den ya put de flaps down!!

CO-PILOT - Royt, I'll do dat, too !!


PILOT - An den stamp an de brakes as hard as yer can an pray ta de

Holy Mudder a Gad !!!

CO-PILOT - I'm prayin already, but I'll hit de brakes as hard as I

can.


So, as the wheels hit the ground, Shamus put the engines in

reverse, puts the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and continued to pray to the

Holy Mother with all his soul. The brakes screeched, the tyres

squealed, and there was smoke everywhere, but, to the relief of all the

passengers,and, not least of all, Paddy and Shamus, the aircraft came to a

stop but a few metres from the end of the runway!!!


As Paddy and Shamus sat in the cockpit regaining some

composure, Paddy looked out of the window and said to Shamus, "Dat has gat

ta be de shartist fookin runway in de world!"


Shamus replied, "Yes, but da ya see how fookin wide it is?"