[shillelagh]

Originally Posted by Busman747

I am Sooooo happy, .....and now I realise why.....


Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...

Your last name stays the same all your life. Men cant change their name they have a hard enough time remembering their first name while drunk can you imagine if they changed their name? Also it does make them feel superior

The garage is all yours. Why should we have all your bits and pieces in OUR kitchen?

Wedding plans take care of themselves. If it was left up to you it would be a pint in the nearest pub

Chocolate is just another snack. Why should we tell you what chocolate does?

You can be President. President of what?

You can never be pregnant.(Phew !) Left up to men - human beings would be extinct

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. That is if you want coke and tomato sauce all down it

You can wear NO shirt to a water park. So can we!

Car Mechanics tell you the truth. They tell you what you want hear - not what is really wrong with the car.

The world is your urinal. And we have to walk in it!

You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too smelly. Men dont have a sense of smell - wonder why?

You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Are you sure about that? We get plenty of practice of that.

Same work, more pay. Who says?

Wrinkles add character. Women have plenty of practice reading maps - no wonder when looking at fellas faces

Wedding dress £500. Suit rental- £100. We pay once - you pay many times for all them times you need a suit - funerals, weddings, christenings,

People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. Want to really know the reason why we dont - that pattern on your shirt hurts our eyes

The occasional well-rendered burp is practically expected. We still expect a polite 'excuse me' afterwards.

New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Wrong - what happens is you get so drunk when wearing them that you dont feel the blisters etc until the day after and then we get the earache to go with it

One mood all the time. Yeah - grumpy

Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat. Then you ask us what they were going on about

You know things about tanks. What kind of tanks - water, oil or them ones the army uses?

A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase. Then you find you've packed all your dirty washing..........

You can open all of your own jars. So can we - its not our fault that the manufacturers tighten them too much

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Thats what you think

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. And we are the ones who get the earache 'last time he comes round here drinking all MY booze'

Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack. They have to be - you only use them once - then they go in the bin

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. Is it? Work shoes, trainers (for them sports you keep saying you are going to take up), Casuals for wearing with jeans, casuals for wearing with black trousers, casuals for wearing with blue trousers, casuals for wearing with brown trousers, Smart shoes for wearing with a black suit, smart shoes for wearing with a grey a suit .....

You never have strap problems in public. Thats what you think

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. We can though

Everything on your face stays its original color. It just gets that weatherbeaten look.........

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. Then you complain when you say you look old

You only have to shave your face and neck. Really?

You can play with toys all your life. Seeing as you carry your main toy with you day in day out - yes you do - and im not talking about trains either

Your belly usually hides your big hips. Thats what you think!

One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. See above

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. No wonder you get people pointing at you

You can "do" your nails with a pen knife. Only if you want the pen knife being placed somewhere uncomfortable

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You sure about that?

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. Then 95 year old Great Auntie Mabel opens her present on xmas day and finds a DVD on Car Maintenance .........

No wonder men are happier!

Now how many agree with me?

By the way that was the clean version - spug got a different version!!!!