My take on it.
Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...
Your last name stays the same all your life. and
and it cant be taken
do you not realise we have to let you feel superior - even though we know the truth
The garage is all yours.
a palce of safty when women are mad at us
I thought that was the pub
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
we just need to turn up
like i said you'd just go down the pub
Chocolate is just another snack.
and something to tease women with when we can eat it and they cant
If you value your life you wouldnt - by the way want to know what im having for my tea tonight?
You can be President.
gives women something to moan at
we know women can do a better job than a bloke but we dont need the hassle that goes with being president of something - mainly we are sorting out the cockups that fellas make of BEING a president
You can never be pregnant.(Phew !)
and why would we want to be its too much hassle and would spoil our fun
see - we'd be extinct
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
without embaressment
so can we - we just have the brains NOT to wear something that shows all the kids dinner up
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
as we aint shy or body concious
wrong you just make us feel sick when you dont
Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
because we would slap em if they didnt
so violence solves everything does it - words are mightier than the sword - remember that
The world is your urinal.
handy being able to answer the call behind a wall
who would like to flash to a coach load of tourists?
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too smelly.
when we need to go we go
thats why you dont have a sense of smell
You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
we are more practical
yeah really?
Same work, more pay.
as we are there more than women
who says -
Wrinkles add character.
and we do not fear them
oh yes? Whats all the moisturisers for men now?
Wedding dress £500. Suit rental- £100.
it can be hired and sent back no need for special storage
and by the time youve paid for rental for all the weddings etc that you go to tis cheaper buying one
People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
assets can be a hinderace
thats not what you said!
The occasional well-rendered burp is practically expected.
its a sign of maleness
its a sign of manners that you say excuse me!!!
New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
we wear sensible ones
who couldnt find his shoes?
One mood all the time.
of course no hormonal interference
grumpiness IS a sign of hormones
Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.
to the point no beating about the bush discussing nowt important
well why ask us when you want to know something
You know things about tanks.
all kinds
the only tanks you know about is them motorised ones
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
we are not of on a fashion parade just a holiday
who forgot to pack something?
You can open all of your own jars.
we are stronger
in brute strength - but in mind we are stronger
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
as you asume we are incapable of being thoughtful
you are incapable of being thoughtful
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
we aint petty
so hes not coming round drinking MY booze aint petty?
Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack.
ifit does the job
its throwaway stuff - cant wear them more than once because of s.......s on the back and on the front ...
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
whats the point of more
like i said men lie
You never have strap problems in public.
we dont wear straps
so jockstraps dont count do they not?
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
we dont care if there are
we do - it looks bad on us
Everything on your face stays its original color.
its how it was meant to be
thats what you think
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.
why pay for something when we lose ours anyway saves money
until you lose it you should look after it - might keep it for longer
You only have to shave your face and neck.
no need to be smooth all over
well when i had a go at shaving you ..... not with a razor either
You can play with toys all your life.
we enjoy being big kids it keeps us sane
get it right it keeps US sane
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
its bought and paid for
ok but why oh why do you have to flaunt it?
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
money saving
boring
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
we dont care about how our pins look
we know how bad your legs look we dont need to be made to look at them when we are out and about
You can "do" your nails with a pen knife.
we dont need pedicures and manicures to look good
thats what you think
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
its a ever present friend if you want it to be
Really - now why do i know that you shaved yours off cos someone asked you to?
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
we dont see the point of all the discussions its the thought that counts
and thats why the shops are all busy on the 27th exchanging the pressies that fellas bought!!!
Al in all its better this way.