Re: Playing with your food
Those women that called themselves the Two Fat Ladies used to make me cringe. They never looked clean, always had nail varnish on (a no no when preparing food, we were told at school) and played with the ingredients something shocking. My mum always watched it and I sat there caughtening at the thought of eating what they'd made. 
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Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs, cackling and telling me
'You'll be next.' They stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
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