[SPUGGIE J]

Wonder if this sums him and his show up?

v hell
The Jeremy Kyle Show

The last time I caught the grotesque circus known as the Jeremy Kyle Show it seemed to reach something of a new low. There was a man, so lost in his caricature that it was impossible to believe he actually existed in real life. A supposed local celebrity and unfathomable ladies man, used phrases like ‘gangster lifestyle’ as he jangled his jewellery and referred to himself as being a bit like one of the Kray twins, ‘know what I mean Jeremy’… Anyway, he was a complete tool. But really, he was just a pathetic cartoon, and like all of the guests, he was a puppet in the sordid little freak show that is the Jeremy Kyle show.

And that’s the real horror of it all. It doesn’t come from whatever the stupid, misguided guests are getting up to, but from our Jeremy. Always through his faux outrage and stern, practiced words, there was the maniacal glint in his eyes that gave away that this was TV gold and he knew it. Of course it was all so rehearsed and planned out that he knew what was coming but still. Jezza knew this was exactly what the people wanted. He lurched forwards, sat attentively on the steps, gesticulated furiously, his face contorting with the confrontational anger that he does so well. And the baying crowd whooped and cackled at another idiot chav being humiliated and brought down to size – put back in their place.

And this is the problem with the Kyle show. The audience made up almost entirely of students were the brain-dead spectators of these real life scallies, “Look Ed, he even has a sovereign ring and everything”. They were there, ironically of course, with their carefully distressed Top Man clothes and angular hair to sit and gawp at these real life f-ck-ups, dole cheats, scumbags, lager louts and problem teens as they were wheeled out like performing zoo animals in front of them. And the crowd duly go wild as they take in the whole vile drama. They’re shocked, disgusted, amused and most of all smug and vindicated at the lowlifes squirming on the stage.

So as the audience cackle and dribble, Jeremy the ringmaster listens, gets mad, coaxes cringe worthy performances from the victims and offers his honest advice. He promises that the JK show, with its army of councillors and psychologists backstage will sort these f-ck-ups out with whatever they need. Clearly this stretches as far as giving the dirty chavs a crumpled £10 note to cover their travel expenses as they are hurried out of the studio, and the next lot on the production line of grizzled swearing scumbags are shuffled on.

The whole point of shows like Jeremy Kyle’s is utterly unpleasant. It’s about that superiority oozing from every pore of the self righteous student in the audience. It’s about keeping the daft oiks in their place by holding them up as chavscum.com figures of ridicule and contempt. In reality it says more about the programme makers and the giggling masses that watch the nasty little show than it ever could do about the unwitting people on the stage.


(BBC - collective - The Jeremy Kyle Show)