[Tealeaf]

..so now we're talking about letting kids run riot throughout the "Pub". I give up. Well, a pub is short for "Public House", but what that's got to do with Witherspoons tat, fake paddy pubs, dodgy Aussie/American theme bars, disco pubs, nursery pubs.........all complete rubbish. It's time we brought back a proper english pub, features of which include, but are not limited to:

1) Outside bogs for both sexes. The lean-to for the blokes is a stone wall with a trough for drainage while the traps have lights that don't work. It rains whenever you nip out the back for a visit.

2) Pub divided into tap room, snug, best room. Proper smoking throughout. No women allowed in tap room.

3) Standard fittings to include 1 telly (Black & white) in taproom, tucked up in the far corner. This is so as to keep the racing fans happy on a saturday afternoon, but not so far as to distract from the main pupose of a pub, beer & conversation. Definatly no sky tv for "premiership" football to be watched by rank upon rank of neutered zombies uttering pathetic crys of "ooooohhh"..."aaahhhhhhhhh" when some overpaid plonker misses a sitter from 3 yards out. Carpet in best room.

4) Food. Hot Pie Warmer on the counter. Mushy peas on thursdays and fridays. Cheese butty's lunchtime, jam if you ask nicely. An exciting selection of light snacks( plain & cheese & onion crisps)

5) Booze. Bitter, Mild and Guiness on tap. Lager - for the ladies - bottles only. None of this "Premium bottle brand" rubbish, which is mostly fizzy water with added alcohol, so out goes the Becks, the Breezers and the rest of the crap.

6) No piped music, juke box, bandit or similar idiotic distraction.

6) Lock-in every night.

Now this is what I call a proper pub, nice, cosy, inviting. This is what we want and nowt else.