[MargaretR]

Some people cant see past the 'big day'. The event itself with all its trappings and the attention, the assembling of relatives and friends, the prezzies, the feasting and drinking becomes addictive because it may well be the only time that marriage = fun - so has to be repeated.

At the tender age of 18 (almost 19) I remember planning my big white wedding (yes I was a virgin) for 7 months. I was oblivious to the Berlin Wall going up or anything else dramatic at the time.
Then when all that planning was done and I was walking down the aisle it dawned on me what I had done, I wish I had had the guts to say no when asked by the minister but I didnt. I have a lovely son from that marriage which I struggled with for 10 years, so it wasn't a complete waste of time, but that has given me insight into the blindfold that planning 'the event' can put on people.