[Margaret Pilkington]

You know you are getting old when the pots of wrinkle cream outnumber the tubes of lipstick

And when you choose shoes for comfort rather than fashion......and when you look for pants with elastic waistbands.......and when you choose big knickers to 'hold it all in place'.........and when you could carry five pound of spud in your bra cups.......I don't think any of these will apply to you Royboy