Thread: Joke Of The Day
View Single Post
Old 08-05-2004, 16:18   #312
lettie
Filthy / Gorgeous

 
lettie's Avatar
 
Bejeweled Blitz Champion!
Re: Joke Of The Day

An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser were sitting in a bar. There was


only one other person in the bar. The three men kept looking at this other


man, for he seemed terribly familiar.


They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before when


suddenly the Irishman cried out : "My God! I know who that man is - it's


Jesus!"


The others looked again, and sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting


alone at a table. The Irishman calls out across the lounge :


"Hey! Hey you! Are you Jesus?" Jesus looks over at him, smiles a small


smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am Jesus," he says.


Well, the Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him: "I'd like you


to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me."


The bartender pours Jesus a Guinness. Jesus looks over, raises his glass


in thanks and drinks.


Then the Australian calls out : "Oy you! D'ya reckon you're Jesus or


what?"


Jesus nods and says : "Yes, I am Jesus".


The Australian is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over a pot


of Fosters for Jesus which Jesus accepts with pleasure.


The Scouser then calls out : "Oi wack, would you be Jesus?" Jesus smiles


and says : "Yes, I am Jesus".


The Scouser beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a pint of


bitter for Jesus, which the bartender duly does. As before, Jesus accepts


the drink and smiles over at the table.


Finally, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches


our three friends. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it,


thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry


of amazement: "Oh God! The arthritis is gone! The arthritis I've had for


years is gone! It's a miracle !!!"


Jesus then shakes the Australian's hand, thanking him for the lager.


Upon letting go, the Australian's eyes widen in shock. "By jingo mate, the


migraine! The migraine I've had for 40 years is completely gone - it's a


miracle!!!"


Jesus then goes to approach the Scouser who says:









"Back off, mate! I'm on Disability!"
__________________
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.


The views expressed here are my own and not necessarily those of my family, friends, employer, this site, my neighbours, hairdresser, dentist, GP, next door's dog or anyone else who knows me..
lettie is offline   Reply With Quote