There are no swear words, nothing racist, nothing homophobic or no other politically incorrect taboos contained in this joke, so put your knives away! I already know that i have a terminally ill sense of humour. Maybe if you get this joke, your sense of homour is a little sick also.
Old Bert, thirty years at the coal face until a mine collapsed, causing him to lose both legs in the pit disaster.
For twenty years, he was tended lovingly by his wife Betty, until she unfortunately passed away. Bert knew the only thing for him was to move into a rest and retirement home. Sadly he missed Betty's companionship and loving touch, because even though he spent twenty years in a wheelchair, Bert still got sexual urges.
At first, Bert was lonely and used to sit alone in a corner of the rest home lounge every night, until one day an old lady named Daisy became a resident. daisy took a shine to Bert. They got talking, she told him of her previous life with her husband who was sadly deceased, and Bert told Daisy of his many happy years spent with Betty.
As the friendship grew, Bert felt that he could confide in Daisy and he told her about his urges. Daisy suggested she could help him. So every night, at 7pm after tea, Bert would wheel himself to Daisy's room, and they would chat and talk, and all the while, Daisy would hold Bert's tumescent erection in her hand; nothing more but Bert was happy and contented.
For many an evening, this arrangement kept both Bert and Daisy happy. Until one day, Ethel came to stay at the rest home. At first all was well, then one evening Daisy was sat in her room at 7pm as usual, waiting for Bert, but he didn't show. Daisy thought nothing of it except to consider that maybe Bert was more tired than normal. For a few nights longer Daisy waited in her room for Bert to appear, but he never did.
One morning, Daisy entered the dining room and saw Ethel and Bert laughing and joking whilst eating breakfast. Daisy was more than a little miffed at this sight and confronted the couple. " For over six months now I've kept you company Bert. I've shared secrets with you, laughed with you and helped you with your sexual urges," she cried. "What is it that Ethel has that I don't?" Daisy said.
With a guilty tone in his voice, Bert replied, " Parkinson's Disease."
If you like it, tell me. Equally, if you don't, let me know
