A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their
sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not
help them. The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave themthorough
physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests and then concluded,
"Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you.
"On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some
grapes and some doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir,
roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bullseye in your wife's
love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard
and retrieve the grape using only your tongue.
"Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room,
toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole.
Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut."
The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful.
They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good
doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case
unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams
and the same battery of tests. Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I
cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is
as good as it will ever be. I cannot help.
"The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the Browns,
now please, please help us."
"Well, all right", the doctor said. "On your way home from the office, stop
at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of cheerios..."
