Len!!!!! I'm shocked....
While I was "flying" down the road yesterday (i.e., 10 mph over the limit),
I passed over a bridge only to find a a cop with a radar gun on the other
side laying in wait.
The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The cop was stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a
rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to
two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work side
to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely
stretch, until it's about 6 foot wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot a$$hole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind
a bridge....."
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Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
The views expressed here are my own and not necessarily those of my family, friends, employer, this site, my neighbours, hairdresser, dentist, GP, next door's dog or anyone else who knows me..