A guide to personal advert terminology for all you singles out there....
40-ish........................................49
Adventurous.................Slept with all your mates
Athletic......................................No tits
Average looking...............Has a face like an ar$e
Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills
Educated...................Was screwed to bits at Uni'
Emotionally Secure......................On medication
Feminist......................................Fat
Free spirit....................................Junkie
Friendship first..........................Former slut
Fun..........................................Annoy ing
Gentle........................................Dull
Good Listener................................Autistic
New-Age............................Body hair problems
Old-fashioned.........................No BJs
Open-minded.................................Desperate
Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.......................................Depress ive
Professional..................................Bitc h
Romantic......................................Frig id
Social.....................Fanny like a clowns pocket
Voluptuous...................................Very Fat
Large lady.................................Hugely Fat
Soul mate...............................Stalker
Widow........................................Murde rer