I reckon i can get away with posting this joke because the 'W' word was used in joke 334, and lived to post another day. I have a third-party consience, who has given me permission to post.
This is another where the punchline has been running round in the space behind my eyes for many a month, the rest of it is just a yarn i've spun to get there.
Little Billy was on his school holidays, and his Granddad had been seconded to look after the little brat. Young Billy was one of these modern kids who believed that everything came on a plate, and was gift wrapped as a matter of course.
Stuck for what to do to entertain his young offspring twice removed, Granddad asked young Billy if he would like to take a trip to Blackpool for the day. “Too right, Granddad!” cried Billy in reply. “There’s the Pleasure Beach, donkeys, trams; there’s loads to do.” So off they went on the train for the day.
As young Billy and his Granddad were taking a stroll down the prom, Billy spied a candy floss stall. “Granddad! Granddad! Can I have a candy floss? Pleeease Granddad.”
“Listen young Billy, I’m just a poor pensioner, but you’re my grandson and I love you, so I’ll buy you a candy floss,” replied Billy’s Granddad.
A little further into their walk down the prom, they passed by the Pleasure Beach. “Granddad! Granddad, can I have a go on the Big Dipper? Go on Granddad,” whined young Billy.
“Listen here young Billy, I’m only a poor pensioner and I’ve already bought you a candy floss, but you are my grandson, so I will pay for you to go on the Big Dipper.”
Billy loved his ride on the roller-coaster, in fact he couldn’t get enough of it. As soon as he climbed out of the seat, he badgered his Granddad again, “Granddad! Granddad can I have a go on the dodgems? Awww go on Granddad,” bleated the youngster.
“Are you listening young Billy? I’ve already told you I’m only a poor pensioner and I’ve bought you a candy floss and a ride on the Big Dipper, but because you are my grandson, I will pay for you to have a go on the dodgems.” The little runt loved to carve everybody else up on the dodgems and he was buzzing when he step out of his little carnage chariot.
“Come on Granddad, I want to have ride on a donkey!” yelled the young one as he grabbed his Granddad by the hand and towed him off in the direction of the beach. When they arrived at the rail where the donkeys were tethered, Young Billy noticed that all the beasts had been given a name, and it was emblazoned on a hat that each of them was wearing. “I want to have a ride on this one,” demanded young Billy, as he chose a donkey called ‘W*nker’ His Granddad, tired of Billy’s constant requests meekly agreed.
Just as young Billy was being helped onto his mount, a wasp alighted on the donkey’s hind quarters and stung it. Well, the donkey reared up and left its junior jockey sprawled out on the sand, as it set of unattended across the beach “Whaaa!” wailed young Billy. “W*nker’s off. W*nker’s off!”
“Listen young Billy I’m just a poor pensioner. I’ve bought you a candy floss, a ride on the Big Dipper, a go on the dodgems…..
