[JohnW]

Who Is Jack Schitt?

The Lineage Revealed

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says,
“You don't know Jack Schitt.” Now you can handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and 0. Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married 0. Schitt, the
owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married
Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children:
Holie Schitt, the twins—Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt,
Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt, a high school dropout. After being
married for 15 years Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married
Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she
wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as
Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a cowardly son,
Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable
throughout childhood, and consequently married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children are
Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left
home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new
bride, Pisa Schitt. Now, when someone says you don't know
Jack Schitt, you can correct them.