[West Ender]

I suppose I've got it both ways, so to speak. I had my eldest child the day before my 21st birthday and my son 17 months later so they're both in their mid 40s. My daughter was 12 and my son 10 when my younger daughter, now 32, was born; quite a gap.

I never knew any of my grandparents as my dad was orphaned when he was a little boy and my mum, who was the youngest of 8 children, lost her mother early and her father just 4 years before I was born. As a child I felt very deprived - I longed for a gran and grampa. Thankfully my children knew my parents well, though we never lived close to them, and had a lovely relationship with them. We lost my dad when Nik, my youngest, was only 10 but she remembers him very well and loved him to bits (it was mutual - my dad adored children).

My grandson was also 10 when my husband died. Their relationship was a bit different as Peter's father had walked out on him when he was a few weeks old and his grampa was a substitute dad. They were incredibly close and, when my husband died very suddenly, Peter was devastated. Laura was born 4 years later so she never knew him but she does have her daddy's parents - and me.

I do think it's good for a child to have grandparents around and I don't think it's ideal to have parents the same age as your friends' grandparents. The most important thing, though, is to have parents who are capable of doing the job! I felt the difference in my physical capabilities between having 2 small children in my 20s and having 1 small child in my 30s. Dealing with a small grandson, in my 40s, was a doddle - because I could give him back to his mum after a day or a weekend here and dealing with a granddaughter in my 50s and 60s has been great because she lives here and so does her mum. No way could I have coped with one of my own at either age.