Some of those are a little close to home
We are not amused... Orf with his head 
The Queen and Princess Di were driving down the road in their Range Rover when they were stopped and accosted by a modern day highway man.
"Hand over all your cash," he demanded of the Queen.
"My dear man," replied the Queen, "I am the Queen of all England, and therefore do not need to carry any money."
"OK, OK," he said, turning to Princess Di. "In that case you can hand over all of your jewels."
"I have no need for Jewels," she boasted, "for I am the most beautiful woman in England."
By this time the highway man was getting a bit p*ssed off. "Right then," he said, "get out of the car and I'll take that instead".
And shortly he was driving off into the sunset. Left sitting on the grass verge, Princess Di turned to the Queen and asked, "Where on earth did you hide all that money you were carrying?"
"I stuffed it up my snatch," laughed the Queen. "But what about you. Where did you manage to stash all your jewels."
"I stuffed them up my snatch as well," tittered Di.
"It's a shame Fergie wasn't with us," mused the Queen. "We might have been able to save the Range Rover."
