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O.K. So far this week I've suffered a little, I know we've had a touch of snow, and then good old Jack frost has made everything unstable underfoot, but I managed to fall over something that wasn't slippy about two days ago resulting in a visit to the hospital and eight stitches in my hand, (the sympathetic amongst you can go Ow! the rest can laugh).

Tonight I called at a chippy and on the way home and was crossing some frozen cobbles someone decided that I shouldn't be there and drove their car into the space I was occupying.
I jumped onto the curb, it was frozen I went 'a' over elbow, as I tried to recover my feet a group of kids came over and asked, "are you alright mr.?"
Yes, I replied, then the biggest amongst them said, "well in that case, give us two pounds for some fags".

Oh boy, had he picked the wrong mug, there is only so much bad luck a person can stand but when some little 'darling', threatens you after such a bad couple of days, he found he had the wrong target!