['erindoors]

Steven woke up with a killer hangover after attending his firm's
> Christmas Party.
>
> He didn't even remember how he got home. It's 8.30. What day is it?
> Thursday. His wife must have gone to work. As he struggled into
> consciousness through the fog of a pounding headache, his stomach
> plummeted as he wondered what the hell he did last night.
>
> He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he
> saw was a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side
> table. And, next to them, a little vase of sweet peas, freshly picked
> from the garden.
>
> He sat up. The bedroom was clean and tidy, - there was no
> trail of drunkenly abandoned clothes, fresh air was coming in
> through the window and all was serene. He stumbled to the bathroom, also
> pristine, and, squinting gingerly into the mirror, saw that he had a
> black eye. This was not a good sign, but no memories were returning.
>
> As he concentrated hard on getting the world into focus,
> he saw a post-it note stuck on the corner of the mirror. It was
> written in red, with little hearts on it and a kiss from his wife.
>
> 'I'll ring your office and tell them you won't be in
> today. Breakfast is in the oven. Try to eat something and go back to bed
> for the morning. There's snooker on TV this afternoon. Take it
> easy today, hope your eye doesn't hurt too much. See you tonight. I
> love you, darling! '
>
> He stumbled to the kitchen and sure enough, there was hot
> breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the newspaper. His teenaged son
> was sitting at the table, eating.
>
> Steven, bracing himself, asked his son what happened the
> previous night.
>
> 'Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your
> mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you
> puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the
> door. '
>
> Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such
> perfect order, aspirins by the bed, a nice note from Mum and
> breakfast waiting for me?'
>
> His son replied, 'Oh THAT!... Mum dragged you to the
> bedroom, and when she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed,
> 'Leave me alone you slapper, I'm married!!'
>
> Broken Coffee Table £250
> Hot Breakfast £3.50
> Two Aspirins 20p
> Saying the right thing, at the right time......PRICELESS'