Accrington Web - View Single Post

lettie · 03-07-2004, 13:46

This guy was invited to a stag night but his wife didn't want him to go.

"Last time you went to a stag night you got totally blind drunk and spewed all over yourself ruining a new suit", she said.

"I promise that I'll behave myself", he said, and begged and begged until finally she gave in.

So he goes along to the party and orders a lemon squash to do the right thing. Next he has a couple of light beers still trying to make sure that he doesn't overdo it. After that he started drinking heavies and by 10.30pm he's starting to get p***ed.

"Sh*t my wife will kill me if I end up blind drunk. Last time I ruined a new suit by vomiting all over myself" he tells a friend.

"No worries", says his mate. "What you do is put $20 in the back of your wallet and, if you end up throwing up on your suit you give the wife the $20 when you get home and tell her that someone else vomited all over you and gave you $20 for the dry cleaning".

So the guy thinks this is a great idea and starts really getting into the booze.

By 2:00 AM he is sh*tfaced. He has barfed all over himself as his wife expected he would. So he heads home and his wife greets him at the door.

"Right, that's it! I've had enough of you, I'm leaving" his wife says.

"No, no you've got it all wrong!", says the drunk guy, "I didn't do this, someone else was so drunk they threw up all over me, but he gave me $20 to pay for the dry cleaning," he says as he hands over the money to his wife.

"If he gave you $20 how come your giving me $40?", asked the wife.

He replied, "Oh, the other $20 is from the guy who sh*t in my pants!"

03-07-2004, 13:46	#624
lettie Filthy / Gorgeous Bejeweled Blitz Champion! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Xanadu Posts: 4,004 Blog Entries: 337 Liked: 66 times Rep Power: 41879	Re: Joke Of The Day This guy was invited to a stag night but his wife didn't want him to go. "Last time you went to a stag night you got totally blind drunk and spewed all over yourself ruining a new suit", she said. "I promise that I'll behave myself", he said, and begged and begged until finally she gave in. So he goes along to the party and orders a lemon squash to do the right thing. Next he has a couple of light beers still trying to make sure that he doesn't overdo it. After that he started drinking heavies and by 10.30pm he's starting to get p**ed. "Sht my wife will kill me if I end up blind drunk. Last time I ruined a new suit by vomiting all over myself" he tells a friend. "No worries", says his mate. "What you do is put $20 in the back of your wallet and, if you end up throwing up on your suit you give the wife the $20 when you get home and tell her that someone else vomited all over you and gave you $20 for the dry cleaning". So the guy thinks this is a great idea and starts really getting into the booze. By 2:00 AM he is shtfaced. He has barfed all over himself as his wife expected he would. So he heads home and his wife greets him at the door. "Right, that's it! I've had enough of you, I'm leaving" his wife says. "No, no you've got it all wrong!", says the drunk guy, "I didn't do this, someone else was so drunk they threw up all over me, but he gave me $20 to pay for the dry cleaning," he says as he hands over the money to his wife. "If he gave you $20 how come your giving me $40?", asked the wife. He replied, "Oh, the other $20 is from the guy who sht in my pants!" __________________ Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. The views expressed here are my own and not necessarily those of my family, friends, employer, this site, my neighbours, hairdresser, dentist, GP, next door's dog or anyone else who knows me..