[Morecambe Ex Pat]

I am enrolling students from the EU on a Medieval Greek and Pornography course here in Morecambe. There are places for 27 students and it will take place in my garage. Fees are payable in advance and are £3000 for people under 5' 3" and £3500 for people over 5' 3". Once the fees are paid, I don't give a monkey's chuff if they turn up as the fewer there are would increase the comfort level. The reason for the price differential is that I can get more small people in my 12' x 7' garage, than tall people. They will have to find their own accomodation although I am in talks with the local parks authority who have a pavillion which is only used during the day.

Please note that there will be an additional charge for kebabs and burgers.

Anyone wishing to donate blankets, pillows, teddy bears and old Greek Books should contact me directly at my villa in the South of France.