[JohnW]

Doug,

I was very touched by your post above about your father. What a terrible thing to only learn of his death so long after the event. Don't be too hard on yourself about what you have done with your life. We have all done things in the past about which we feel some shame, things we would undo if we could. It's the people who don't feel this that are the real 'pillocks' of the world. Incidentally, don't call yourself that, eventually you can come to believe it to be true when in fact it isn't. I was very lucky and was close to both my parents for all of the time we were here together. I had them both into my fifties and was very lucky indeed in that respect. You obviously have a lot of unsettled issues with your father by what you say above. I sincerely hope you can come to terms with these things and find some peace of mind.