Old telephone books make ideal personal
address books. Simply cross out the names
and addresses of people you don't know.
Fool other drivers into thinking you have an
expensive car phone by holding an old TV or
video remote control up to your ear and
occasionally swerving across the road and
mounting the curb.
Lose weight quickly by eating raw pork and rancid
tuna. You might find that the subsequent food
poisoning will enable you to lose 12 pounds in
only two days.
Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windscreen
wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave
your car parked illegally.
__________________
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
The views expressed here are my own and not necessarily those of my family, friends, employer, this site, my neighbours, hairdresser, dentist, GP, next door's dog or anyone else who knows me..
