A short one..
A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian rugs.
She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she
accidentally breaks wind.
Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident. She turns and sees that standing next to her is a salesman.
Good day Ma'am. How may I help you today? Very uncomfortable she asks, Sir how much does this rug cost?
He answers, Lady, you farted just touching it. You're gonna s**t when you hear the price.
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Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
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