[yerself]

Land Lord Letters

The following are real examples of letters that have been sent into
Landlords.

I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly
when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

The lavatory is blocked, this is caused by the boys next door
throwing their balls on the roof.

This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the
man next door.

When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's
new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools
to finish the job and keep my wife happy.

I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from
the wall.

I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three
pieces.

Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done
as my wife is about to become an expectant mother.

I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and
burnt my knob off.

I am still having trouble with smoke in my built in drawers.

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it
is cleared.

The person next door has a large erection in his back garden,
which is unsightly and dangerous.

Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk.
Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would
like a third, so will you please send someone to do something
about it.

Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny
color and not fit to drink.

Would you please send a man to repair my downspout. I am an
old age pensioner and need it straight away.

Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap. My wife got
her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every
morning at 5:30 his cock wakes me up, and it is getting too
much.